This is the week I fell in love with poker. As you read this, keep in mind that I had never played poker until this trip.
It’s New Year’s Day, Jan’ 05. It’s breakfast time in Atlanta, but only 4 a.m. at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. I’m wide awake and itchin’ for something to do. Hubby is still sound asleep. He’s not a morning person. Together, we make one helluva 24/7 team. Anyway, hubby and I had been playing 5/10 Limit Hold ‘em for the past 4 days. We had been lucky enough to play side-by-side. Most players were tolerant of hubby’s etiquette instruction and me slowing down their game. In my mind, the progress I had made was incredible. After only 4 days I understood the betting structure, didn’t have to be told when it was my turn to bet, knew to take my chips out of the little plastic tray, leave my cards on the table, and not to fiddle around with the dealer button. I was ready to venture out on my own!
I got dressed, got money out of hubby’s wallet, and headed downstairs to the card room. It was busy, but not crowded. I walk to the sign-up desk and announce “I want a 5/10 Hold ‘em game. ” “You’re lucky JB (they all knew me by then) we have a seat open on 27.” I hand him a wad of money for my chips. As I walk over to Table 27, I start checking out the competition. I sized them up pretty quick—mostly WPT wannabe’s with their sunglasses and chip tricks. I’m in seat No. 10. Great, I can see the board better. I sit down. Hubby taught me to place some cash on the table in case I get low on chips, $100 would play. He also taught me to wait for the BB to come around. That way I could settle my nerves and check out the competition a little. “You know, see how they play.”
As I look around the table, I decide I’m in over my head. Mostly oriental kids, one old man, one nice looking man. But, right between them, across from me is Ditz. There’s my fish. I rule out beating any of the men. So I just study Ditz while I wait on the BB. Ditz still has on her HAPPY NEW YEAR tiara and her party dress. To the delight of the two guys on either side, you can see pretty much all of her boobs. Just so she knows who she’s up against, I sit up a little straighter, shoulders back. The waitress comes over. I ask for bottled water; Ditz calls for champagne. So that’s how it’s gonna be?
As Ditz sips her champagne she makes sure I see that big rock on her finger. I was clearly at a disadvantage; she couldn’t see mine unless I turned my back to the board. She barely manages to win a small hand and flashes her Rolex as she rakes in her chips. I announce “it’s getting a little warm in here,” as I push my sleeves up over my xxxxx xxxxxxxx. She jiggles and giggles for a hand or two before the BB comes around to me. Unfortunately, I forgot to place a chip on my cards; my first hand gets raked into the muck. I was hoping she didn’t see that. I play a few hands, but mostly fold; all watching Ditz.
Then it comes. I’m BB with KK. Be still my heart. Almost everybody calls; I limp. The flop comes As Kd 3h. I almost pass out. I check, Ditz calls, I raise, everybody but Ditz folds; she calls. I figure Ditz has Ax. The only thing that could beat me is wired aces but I figured she didn’t have them or she would have reraised. The turn is 5h. I check, Ditz bets, I raise, we cap the pot. At this point I put Ditz on Big Slick. The guys push their sunglasses up on top of their heads and quit playin’ with their chips. Everyone is leaning forward to see more girl-on-girl poker. I was mentally licking my chops and praying the other A doesn’t fall. The river is 8h. I literally dodged a bullet. I check, she bets, we cap the pot. All eyes are on me as the dealer says “Let’s see ‘em.” I smugly flip over my KK and make some dumb “can you beat that” remark. She turns over Qh 7h.
“Nice hand” is what I say; WTH are you doing in the hand is what I’m thinking. I’m almost out of chips. I toss the dealer what’s left and go crawl back in bed with hubby.
